Last entry of the Year 2008

Its been a few days since the last time i've blogged. Since this is the last entry for the year 2008, i've been trying to come up with ways to end it like a big bang..well the blogging of this year lol. I can't really remember what happened in January of this year...except Valentine's day sucked...i think. By March, Michael wasn't in the picture anymore. I remember he kept trying to get back with really gross voicemails. My friend that used to work at McDonald's told me that he's been hanging out with 2 other guys, just walking around like crackheads. Who knows. I remember how i would stop talking to Hector, only to end up talking to him again back and forth. In the end it turned out pretty neutral...we keep our distance but we're still good friends lol. This summer was my cousin's Quinceanera at Mexico...very lovely. But she was really picky and expensive of everything she wanted. Her waltz was so cute! She was a toy doll that had a windup thingy in order to make her dance with the boys. I just got annoyed at her older sister cause she had a crown, and the birthday girl didn't (jealousy anyone?). The little girls were also dressed like my cousin...but its because the parents were spoiling them as well. Envious people all over the place. When we came back, i was of course jobless (to this day haha). Started school again and found Pedro while meeting other new people. By the end of the semester i found my lifeguard and still with him to this day...That pretty much wraps up the highlights of the year. I've noticed that my attitude has changed from grumpy and whiney to relaxed and somewhat filled with happiness =). I've found positive things in negative setbacks. I never could do that before. I feel like i've gone through some sort of rollercoaster ever since i started with Neo...and strange enough i'm still hanging on. Usually i barf and call it quits...but no, i'm actually hanging on. To top it off, Beatriz hasn't been involved in this whole year and maybe hopefully things go well for her. Out with the rotting old, in with the brand new.Starting the new year with brand new things, places, people to look forward to, whether good or bad. Lucky year number 4...the testing year.

Christmas 2008

Happy Holidays everyone! The party is still carrying on from Christmas Eve to Day. We've had plenty of pozole and tamales to look forward to. Plenty of booze. Next stop: my aunt's house. According to her, we're gonna be eating "pasteles" (a puertorican style tamale...very good!) some chicken scratch (literally) and puerto rican rice...with bread pudding for dessert. My cousins we're too pissed to come over to our house. They were mad at eachother for some...odd reason. My aunt called both of them drama queens. I couldn't get her to stop talking about her kids to Neo. My family got along with him very well...at least they were polite to eachother lol. But Neo was having fun watching my relatives quarrel like drunks with one another. I just didn't like the fact that my aunt knew who he was...well at first i didn't understand why Neo was tripping out about it. My cousins and Neo are lifeguards, and so she assumed that they all knew eachother. But it turns out that my cousins were lifeguards before him (Neo was still in the swimteam back then). But every person my aunt named, he knew..almost lol. She explained that everywhere my cousins went, she was at. She knew almost everyone that was on a swimteam because of her kids. She kept bragging on about their awards and achievements. Later on he told me that he freaked out that she actually remember him..(my aunt visits ALOT of schools..so I understood why he would be shocked...who the heck memorizes a face? crazy pedophile aunt lol) After that scenario he went off to his sister's house. But before he left, i told him my weirdest dreams...and one i remember that made me ask him for his number the first time (remember "L"ady? How it went from fuzzy to him?) He thought about it and smiled really big lol. I gave him my gift and off he went =).

Keeping Sane

It's late and the whole family is still awake...i'm freakin tired...sleepy...and cold. My dad is going to be here tomorrow...and i haven't seen Neo. I think he's upset about it..i wouldn't blame him. I miss him too, but our only boundary is my dad. My dad knows about him, he knows that i'm with him, but he doesn't want me hanging out with him too much. I really...can't find a balance. Christmas is just a few days away and my parents hadn't bought anything for the dinner or presents (my mom wants to make the feast AGAIN...she's really pissing me off). I was personally hoping my aunt would do it this time since there's more room and good different stuff to eat...not a regular mexican banquet. That and Neo's house isn't that far from my aunt's house, so it won't really be a problem. He's still coming...what worries me is how long i should let him stay. My dad has a reputation of talking ALOT of things when he's drunk. (this is one of the reasons my aunt "can't make it cause i'm working...maybe some pizza later?"). My uncle probably won't be able to come since HE gets so drunk he can't drive. So...i'm not really looking that forward to the holiday this year. I would visit Neo's family, but they don't really do anything to celebrate. All i know is i got him a present that i've been proud of since the day i got it lol. Usually i cry in pain and agony for spending so much money, but i was actually literally happy. Pedro is a witness. Hopefully things go well with this whole Christmas fiasco...hopefully.

Colin of London

This morning was a real drag...i had to go to my sister's performance of her little "dance". I thought it was adorable! It reminded me of the good ol' days at Saucedo when we had to do embarrassing stunts. My brother was taping it all of course...but when i look again i see a girl holding him. (wtf?) He told me that it was a girl that he liked back in grammar school but they never told eachother (she liked him too). At that point i was like "uh oh"..i was pretty worried about my brother's gf's absence. At the same time, i got along with the girl quickly than with his current one. The thing that grossed me out the most was that she looked exactly like one of our cousins from Mexico. Maybe its a good thing that he stuck with the current one...lol. I just cut my hair =). I went to the salon Colin of London and it was located in the fanciest street I've ever seen in Chicago. There were HUGE brand name stores...more like shops. The architecture of the stores are somewhat the old school version. Good names like Prada, Juicy Coutore*, Louis Vutton, etc etc. The lady that attended me was sooo beautiful. (very poop Magali). She had very pretty green eyes, with dazzling makeup. Her hair was very curly and with a deep red color. Her dress was black and short with lace sleeves...a cute pendant and gator green pumps. The service was really nice...it felt good to be pampered lol. We started talking about things that interest us, and a little bit about our lives. Turns out she's half mexican, half italian. She has a little girl and a bf (she broke up with her ex-husband). We were talking about movies, the weather, the holidays, the hairstyles and treatment...she even gave me some advice on how to be presentable for Neo's parents. She was really awesome. No pics, I'm tired of sending pics, I'm not posting any, forget it! lol. The weather is crummy...my shoes are useless in the snow. Its not that cold, but the snow slush is everywhere. Especially around the sidewalks where people have to cross. My shoes sucked so bad it felt like i was walking barefoot in the snow. It even got stuck in the snow once. I can't wait for tomorrow...=)

Boo!

Lovely snow! Soft droplets that gently land on the cold, hard, ground. Each of them with uniquely crafted shapes and sizes. A warm hearty laughter is heard throughout a quiet neighborhood as I hold on to him to try to regain my balance from almost falling backwards. Stupid ice. At least I made him smile. I should have gotten new shoes, but no money...i can't believe I'm actually saying those words now. I only have emergency money..well that's what i call it so i don't spend recklessly. Things have been going well so far...i'm slightly nervous of meeting his parents though. His dad is easy to meet, but his mother is described like if he was exactly like my dad. His sisters seem happy for him...he described them as always having a huge grin on their faces when i come up in the conversation. We'll see. I should really stop procrastinating on getting a haircut...(even Neo got a trim. Kinda feel left out lol). We went to the stores to find him a new coat..in which was a hard thing. Some he didn't like, some made him itchy, and he doesn't like puffy...so he settled on a Columbia-style jacket. He liked it because it turned into a vest lol. Pretty resourceful. He got some new shoes as well...i like em =). Boys are such simpletons...they get anything that fits and there you go lol. I have alot to learn.

Pigeon Meal

Living hell is where i reside. My dad's planning to take two weeks off from work to stay home 24/7. Bummer...on a side note, I'm planning to cut my hair. I hope its nothing way too drastic, but something really interesting. The salon is called Colin of London..and it looks extremely expensive. But everything i have is payed for so its free lol. I'm not sure what i want yet, but i don't want really short hair. I already registered for the next semester at school, and sadly no job yet. Sooo lazy to actually look for one. I've been hanging out with Neo these past couple of days (my mom gave him that nickname,...i think she really likes him lol). I haven't seen him in 2 days and i miss him already =(. We were supposed to hangout today but i didn't reply to his text on time. Maybe tomorrow...or Tuesday...or Wednesday. Now i know how Magali feels lol. Today my family and I had Popeyes for dinner. It was pretty funny. As soon as i placed the bag on the table, my brother and I started washing our hands and taking a seat. Meanwhile my dad was watching from a distance as my siblings started opening the boxes of food. We started piling our plates and my dad took evasive action. He tried to stop the conversation with my uncle (He was on the phone this whole time) so that he could make it to the food. I couldn't stop laughing. He sat down and started complaining as to why everyone was eating before him after he payed for the meal. My brother, sister and I ignored him and kept munching on and on with chicken, biscuits, fries, and mashed potatoes. It reminded me of a pigeon that didn't want to be left behind after his fellow feathered friends ate most of the seeds or breadcrumbs. That became the highlight of my day...wish i could say otherwise. *sigh*

Beautiful Blue

Wow, the days are passing by quick. Today I've done an early Christmas shopping spree....not for me though. I found my college buddy and we both wandered in downtown to find something for her bf. She wanted to get him some Jordans because that was his favorite brand...(why??). We tried thinking of places where it would be less expensive, but there was no way out. When i took my bawling friend out from the store (she spent $150) i took her to the store she loves the most. She's a Wet Seal fan. The manager knows her already lol. Soon she had to get to class and Pedro popped into the picture. I walked my friend to school and met up with him on the street oncemore. We both walked into Ulta* (is that how its spelled Magali?) and got intoxicated with the scents for men's cologne. We couldn't find anything that we agreed on...both of us had trouble trying to make a decision between 2 different ones. So we went to the most coniving and sneaky people from Macy's to help persuade us into getting one (dumb decision...but the choice is finally made). I had bought a gift set of Bvlgari for my bf..it smells wonderful. It's called Marine, and well...i think it made sense as to why i got it lol. Pedro couldn't decide between Dolce & Gabbana and Peri Ellis The lady that helped him wasn't making it easier either...AND she showed me the tactics they use to get what they want. (racist comment, but i finally figured out a part of why they think and act the way they do). She was really careful..she thought me and Pedro were together. As soon as I mentioned my bf however, she was all over poor little Pedro lol. She kept rubbing his cheek and complimenting him alot. Pedro on the other hand was getting frustrated and ended up buying the Peri Ellis...he also got a free bag. PLUS he got a sample of the one i got. PLUS he got another tubey thing of the new Daddy Yankee one that recently came out. I got the same...but the boy is trully full of luck.

Singing in the Rain

I passed my english class with flying colors. A perfect score. (Thanks for the brain rub Magali, i got another thing as well ;D) Throughout the whole train ride i was getting nervous. The closer i got, the more revolting my stomach felt. I couldn't remember feeling so nervous (besides last Friday ;)). I kept thinking bad things all through the ride. All this blogging has definitely paid off. As i foretold, most of the freshman were too airheaded to understand how important the test was. There was a girl in my class who couldn't stand the teacher. I thought he was pretty good. When she got her score, she BARELY passed. A 5+ and a 5- would've automatically failed her. But the goodhearted teacher was lenient on her and gave her a 6- (its required if there's 2 equal numbers, the professor of the student evaluate them as well). I pointed out that if it wasn't for him, she wouldn't have moved on to the next level. There was about 1/4 of the class who didn't pass the exit exam. As all freshmen do, they started asking everyone whether they passed or not. It was kind of disrespectful for the ones who didn't ( I was once in that position). Few people got double 6's and i was one of them =). I literally jumped with joy in front of the professor lol. Then i was off to get me some breakfast at McDonald's ( i miss the egg mcmuffins) and i found my old manager Joey. (Wtf?!) I started talking to him for awhile and told him how much i missed the skank. I got a 3rd number haha. How strange that Pedro wasn't around. Either way, people were exchanging numbers to old classmates to keep in contact over the holidays. I hung out with some college friends, then with some of their friends, and eventually found Pedro (i see him everywhere) and Ana came with us. We talked about the old days and random things that came into mind. Pretty cool day...with droopy snowflakes.

"L"ady's Sidekick

One final down, two more to go. I should keep in mind Criminal Investigation for next semester. I'm slightly nervous at my outcome from english for tomorrow. A little bit. I can't believe how fast time is passing by...in less than a few weeks it's going to be a new year. Today wasn't so bad..i hung out with Pedro as usual. But before that, i was talking to Herminio when i notice a skank eyeing him from a distance. She went up to him and asked a really stupid question. Something about speech. I remember he told me that the class is already over and that it wasn't necessary to go the next day. I just remember hearing her giggling and curling her hair with her finger. I couldn't believe she actually did that. He was acting pretty normal though. I looked away for most of the conversation, but i bet if i wasn't there she would've suggested something more. I trust him, but i don't trust her. I didn't like it. Is it a crime to be jealous? I am overreacting? maybe a little. She had no idea that he was with me though...but i guess it served as a good test as to how he would treat other people.Well after that i went to the library to meet up Pedro. I found an old friend i knew since the beginning of my college years. After all this time i got his number lol...and behold Pedro steps in! We couldn't stop laughing. (Maybe he is lucky?) I took the final and left home early...at the Ashland stop though, i got a surprise on the pink line i was getting on. I swear i didn't realize she was there...i didn't see anyone on the train seat before yet she was there all along. Silly "L" waved at me as i finally got a seat. (wtf?!) It was pretty early when we got at the Kedzie stop. When we walked out i found Sammy and Juan from Farragut. (These people graduated after us..they were going to downtown to iceskate at 6PM...idk why) I said hello with hugs and kisses? (Juan stuck out his cheek) and both "L" and I were on our way to Walgreens. It became the second part of her journey...quest..adventure thing lol. Interesting day, no?

Freakin Finals

I finished my essay last night as promised (to myself). I still have a few things to do, some extra credit to cover, but now that the essay is done with i guess i can be a little lenient. That thing was really hard. I'm working on philosophy terms as we speak. I...can't wait for the semester to end. I want it over with. Done. Finished. No more until next year. There really isn't much going on except the pressures of finals in school. My family seems to be more...relaxed. Its very unusual to see them all this way. That or its gotten tense because my brother parked the van in an area where they broke the window. I'm not sure how the story goes, but it happened. That boy doesn't know when to appreciate what they give him. I have been Christmas shopping though...for myself lol. There's a million sales here and there...one in which i missed ($12 jeans at Old Navy...damn it!). Snow is everywhere now...including deadly ice. Love the fluffy white snow, hate the slippery bloody ice. Things have been running really smooth lately, so not much to complain about lol. That is until i get my english 101 results, then i'll begin to bawl and cry. My eating and sleeping pattern has changed drastically. I can't seem to stay up past 12:30 without almost falling asleep on the phone or computer. I wake up at 8AM on the dot everyday, even on weekends. My hunger is pretty much stronger 3 times a day. I hope that this isn't a bad sign. Or maybe it's because i've been drinking plenty of water. Who knows. All i know is that this winter is soooo interesting, there's no time for depressing thoughts.

Heaven on Earth

How do i describe how i feel? perfectly fine? completely happy? in a dreamy state? I feel wonderful. I went out with him and it was loads of fun. He's...soo positive its unbelievable. We went to the movies (more like tried) and ended up going to the mall instead. We talked about eachother and other things. I can't seem to remember any...the ones i do i don't want to mention here. We spent the whole night laughing over things we've done, said, or seen. I remember he told me that he's been shy all this time. I didn't see it. We walked around the mall a few times. He really wanted to see a movie but unfortunately didn't make it. He ended up taking me to a place i've never been before. Somewhere really really south? north? passing Ford City that's for sure. By 129th street and Cicero. We went inside a place that had alot of pool tables. (He didn't want to tell me where we were going) He spent the whole time teaching me how to play and out of dumb luck i won. We made a wager as to whoever would win would get something out of it. I couldn't think of anything...at the time. But all he wanted was to get to use my glasses (I wonder why...) Soon we were off on a long ride back home. He held my hand the whole way as i held his. Sometimes i couldn't really believe i was there...its as if there was another body..or another person that was there. I felt like i was dreaming. We got to my house, and he walked me to my door. The rest is private peeps. But you can pretty much guess. My mom approved (completely. she got nervous when she was talking to him.) I asked her what she thought of him after he left and the first thing that came into her head was "guapo". Great mom. I didn't notice that. Geez.

A Christmas Carol Concoction

I wish i was a ghost. Not a moaning emo, scary one. More like a Christmas ghost that would show particular people, what they're actually doing with their lives. I know the perfect person that needs this kind of scaring as soon as possible. If that was the case though, i already know who my ghost friends would be. Both of them are as apart as the north and south poles. They might hate me for mentioning this, but it is my blog and nobody can change it.(Spam all you want ladies). Ebenezer Scrooge will be played by our truly dear friend Beatriz. Selfish, greedy, inconsiderate. She's dead on the 21st century descendant of the old man. I have no ghost in mind who would play the person that would warn her of her ways. I could pick "L", but she's being used for a far more important part. That and she really hasn't done anything to deserve such a consequence. (if anything she could play Tiny Tim lol) Christmas past will be played by me. Who else has celebrated things with her and would make her regret things from the past?? I won't let her forget that's for sure. Christmas present is no one else but the wonderful, enthusiastic, and cutie pie Magali (kudos to her bf for cutting her hair, i like it =)). She fit the part for being so full of joy and creativity most of the time. Christmas usually involves happy times and celebration and no one could get a better laugh then after hanging out with her...even though sometimes when she gets into a horrible accident its hilarious. If she actually had the chance to show "Scrooge" what she's been through it would definitely open our "friend's"eyes. Last but not least Christmas Future will be played by a lovely and loyal (hermity too) "L"ady. I say this because she's warned Scrooge a million times, and has foretold the bad future that she's made for herself. The Scrooge in our story didn't listen to any of our advice given throughout the years. Possibly one day she will. But for now, all we can do is haunt her with the past, present and future events that have been and will be. In her memories and dreams we'll forever be until she gets things right. How did i end up writing a blog about this? Blame Charles Dickens. Blame A Christmas Carol. Blame Barbie people. And Poop. Lots and lots of poop.

Early Presents

I've been talking to the lifeguard and I got a date...i think. So excited, so full of joy, so...paranoid. I'm nervous that i haven't passed my test at all. Its flashbacks that i keep getting from last year. But the only reason it doesn't stay that way is because i'm so happy about my future hubby haha. I know i'm jixing myself, and nothing might happen but who cares...I DO! My words are so scrambled, its hard to make a point. But i guess that was the happiest moment i've had today. I went shopping a little bit with Pedro. Sort of....more like i did it by myself. Can't stand Pedro hovering over my shoulder while i shop for stuff at Victoria's Secret. So i sent him on a wild goose chase telling him lies of where i was at while i was in line getting my stuff. Everything's been about sales in downtown ever since Black Friday. So i went into a tiny shopping spree...i was too distracted with texts from my future love ;D. I also got my gift from Magali. Its really adorable, thank you!! ( i got some coupons and a tiny dress for my doll, Linette...very cute =))

On the 1st day of Christmas My True Love Gave to Me

...a number from a hot guy! =D. I got the lifeguard's number actually. Pretty damn happy. i could sing! I had one witness...and i hated the fact that he was standing there actually staring at us having a conversation. Leave it to Pedro. No privacy whatsoever. I almost chickened out because he was standing there. I know it shouldn't have mattered, but i couldn't really pull up the courage knowing someone was staring at me trying to do it. He did catch on what i was trying to do. He kept his distance, but not far enough! (Damn you!). I finally overpowered my cowering fear and asked him. He looked surprised yet happy. Pedro told me later on that we both looked extremely cheesy. (good sign, no?). Nothing might happen, but this all serves me as a crap load of practice. Today seemed like any typical day...except when we found a replica of Hector at F.Y.E..I really couldn't stop laughing at the guy. He actually looked wayyy better than Hector's current style. Either way, today was fun =).

Gorgeous Gambit

I don't usually double-post. But after seeing the last blog was a waste of a blog entry, i've taken one of Magali's usual entry styles. Here's a pic of the future Gambit for the upcoming X-Men movie. Isn't he hot?!

Too Late

As a few of you know, a person has tried to apologize for something that occurred since last year. She was expecting forgiveness and friendship in return. But in reality, i still believe she doesn't deserve it. She still doesn't obviously know what she's apologizing for. Her friend has told her countless times the reasons behind the incident, and she has pointed out her own negative actions that led her to the path she's taking. She recognizes it and really doesn't do anything about it, so that really is not anyone's problem. "L" told me i should've pointed out her flaws to show her exactly what she did. But since i'm no friend to a person like that, i wasn't going to. She shouldn't have to hear it from me, she should've listened to something that's been told to her from a TRUSTWORTHY friend. It probably might have taken effect if it came out of my mouth, but it just proves how much she really doesn't trust her current friend. Her only friend and she still didn't accept it. This wasn't the only time where this person messes up, and if its already a part of her life, then i don't want to be involved in it. I'm surprised the friend she's done harm to hasn't really done something about it..she's too free-spirited i guess. I would like to point out though that during her "apology" she said she would apologize to someone else as well. She hasn't and she's not going to. This is all just to get back a friend that she thinks she lost. Her intentions weren't to get peace between anyone at all. Once again she makes a desperate attempt to keep everything close to her by choosing malicious actions against others. Where's the honor in that? She even said that the person she did harm to would not have protected her either. That is complete bullshit. I understood and I explained it to her that even though they both never got the chance to get to know eachother better, my own current long-time friend would still save her stupidass. I've heard enough after that. I made it pretty clear that i was glad she recognized that something was wrong (except she didn't know why...dumbass) and that she should have a good life. If she expected for me to run back to her like nothing happened, she's wrong.

Never Ending Feast

Today was day 2 of a huge Thanksgiving feast from yesterday. I'm partially working on my essay (very little) but i guess it counts. Still have plenty of time...not really. My mom was the chef for the night as she roasted a huge turkey with stuffing in the oven. After that was a large piece of ham surrounded with pineapples. It got drenched in its own juices as well as the sweet fruity taste. My mommy also made side dishes. She made potato salad, rice, and extra stuffing. (i love stuffing! I guess that's why i'm getting as big as a turkey) My sister "made" dessert by making a fruit salad. It was pretty yummy. Its basically made out of marshmallows. coconut cream, canned fruit, coconut pieces, and raisins. My aunt brought the wine and a cherry pie. My uncle's wife brought us some fish stew (wtf?...they tried). Everything was delicious...and over stuffing. My mom took out the Christmas tree and my sister and i helped decorate it. We found alot of adorable ornaments in a box. There was cute mime that looked so sad. He was broken, and me and my sister tried to put him together. We did, only to find out that my mom threw him away. He looked more depressed than happy to be a happy holiday decoration..oh well.

Wake-Up

So far i've had 2 signs about Diabetes. Not on myself *knocks on wood*, but signs from around the world. My friend and I were talking about it once on how its hereditary effect might AFFECT our lives. The second warning was when i saw this episode of Scrubs where Turk gets diagnosed with Diabetes 2. Its....scary. I'm horrified. When i was younger, i had a kidney failure. This epidemic was like a trend back when i was in 4th grade. Girls who were mostly overweight and my age that would drink a lot of soda would get diagnosed with some kidney disease. Its as if you had to go potty really really really bad...only to feel about 3 drops drop in. The pain was intense...my own body had put me to sleep once...I remember my dad and my mom trying to get me to a hospital. They were trying to keep me awake..to keep me from closing my eyes. Its kinda blurry trying to remember that thing...but it did give me a freakin wake up call. I stopped drinking soda for 2 years straight. To this day i try to drink it moderately, only when i have no other option i would drink up. But never coke. Never dark drinks. My family has a history of diabetes, and i really don't want to end up in a situation where it got to me because i let myself. I want to try to stop it from ever happening. I want to prevent it from happening to me...even just making it come late. I would be happy knowing i've tried to do something about it even if it comes. But for now, this is just the start of a healthy journey that i had to have started a looong time ago. I'm starting my New Year's Resolution a little early. Better late than never =).

Wonderland's Mad Tea Party

Sooo lazy...i know i have homework...somewhere. I'll worry about that later, later. Since my doll and panda hat for my sister are on hold, i've been practicing crochet. My mom won't teach me knitting until i've mastered crochet. She might be worried i'll accidentally stab myself...lol. Its hard at the beginning...but eventually you pick it up. You just need alot of patience...after awhile you get bored, hungry, tired, or distracted. My sister went to the circus today with my parents. I was supposed to take my mom's place, but i really didn't want to go. My mom reluctantly went though (my parents have been awkward for awhile). They both came back more natural together. I need a job. A good job. My parents were talking to me about double majoring. If one doesn't work out, i would always bounce back up on the other. It doesnt sound so bad, but it does sound like alot of work. I should start thinking about my minor then lol. Another friend's had the same idea i think...become a teacher of the subject she's fond of. Ms. Hilaris has mentioned it before as well. Not bad...not bad at all =). Speaking of which, i know a few of you know that Jose wants us to gather together and have dinner with her. I sort of...don't want to go? Knowing that she got annoyed when he mentioned it to her, she responded with "wait until you get here so you can plan". Something like that. Bad sign that she really doesn't want to see Jose basically haha. Its so awkward though...what would we talk about once the basic hellos and how are yous are covered? We haven't really seen eachother for almost a year. Its going to be a table full of hypocrisy and twofacing. For one, and I say this now, I think Ms. Hilaris doesn't even like me. Ever since i've made that comment of what my brother's done to her, she's been kind of.."shunning"? me for the rest of the senior year. Jose only has friends when he wants to have friends...only when he needs people the most. Magali and I have stuck together for a very, very long time..so she's the only one on the table who will be true. Juan and maybe Yesenia would be neutral. I have no idea how she is now...or Ms. Hilaris. Juan isn't really much of a surprise to anyone. Maybe i just feel nervous? No, that's not it. I don't really know how i feel about this, but i do know that i don't really want to go. I don't really feel comfortable with that scenery in my head. I'd rather be going through another job interview than go to that dinner. If it were something like the Mad Hatter's Party, i wouldn't decline whatsoever! So much fun, so much tea, and the cute little mouse who sings himself lullabies to sleep. Let's not forget his best friend the Mad Hare! I bet they all could keep a strong conversation which would never end.Ever since i've heard Tim Burton's making the Alice in Wonderland book into a movie, i was thinking WTF!? wow....its awesome. Truly awesome. Here's a pic of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter.Some people like it, others criticize it...but i really adore it <3.

Dir en Grey 2008

I have never met a real celebrity, let alone a rockstar. Dir en Grey were the last people on my mind that i would ever come as close as encountering. But as i've told "L" before, and i'll keep rubbing it to her face for as long as she lives "Anything is possible. Nothing is impossible" (one of those two, but they both have the similar meaning) I've lived in Chicago all my life, and i finally got to step in and actually be in the House of Blues. On the way over there we saw a really long line just waiting to see Dir en Grey. It went around the corner, so "L" decided to walk past them and go straight around the front. Faces turned as we passed them filled with confused and annoyed looks. I guess they were waiting for when we'll try to butt in. A security guard was outside the building, so we asked to go inside and he let us through. The building looked fantastic. Its so old-school and gorgeous, they still had some memorabilia and of course the gift shop. Security was extremely tight, and the closer the time came for the show to start, the more nervous "L" and I would get. We found the other winners as well. One guy came from Indiana and the other one was a girl who came from Kansas City. People actually came at 5AM from around the Midwest to stay in line. Security wouldn't let them though...lol. The time finally came when people were being let in. We climbed up the stairs and waited by the mixing booth.(as shown) It was pretty dark, so yeah...bad pics. We waited...and we waited...and waited...time passed by soo slowly. "L" was already getting annoyed by the Indiana guy. He seemed very conceided..at last a man called us over to meet them. We were bunching up, excited yet nervous at the same time. We walked inside what seemed a white supply room (they wouldn't let us go up to their dressing room unless all of us were 21..wonder why) and waited...IMPATIENTLY. At that point, nobody really talked, everyone focused at the door where THEY would come out. Then finally...like models, each one of the strolled out casually. First Kyoru, then Die, then Toshiya, and last was Shinya. The world froze for about 30 seconds, with everyone just staring across to one another. That was until people began to snap out of it and move to greet them. Their manager? instantly said that we could "get autographs, take pictures, and later we'll have a group picture". Everyone took it as "You have 30 seconds to get what you need, so hurry". People were scrambling to get to talk and get things signed from each of them. Die was the one who was laughing at my DeathNote since he right away recognized it. He showed it to Shinya who also smiled at my attempt to ki..i mean get their signatures. "L" took random pics of them without their notice, which pretty much made them keep their guard up. She took pics with them, and so did I. It was amazing..the experience was soo nerve wrecking, i felt like it was Black Friday where people would fight for what they wanted after the holidays. "L" was the only one who asked Die where the lead singer Kyo was located and unfortunately responded that he was still sleeping. After that, we gathered around to take one last group pic and off we went to see them perform live (more like got kicked out of the room..the owner was counting heads to check that nobody tried to sneak up or hide to go to their room with them). We found Brandon and his friend who were located almost in the middle of the crowd, and met up with them. Then the show began with the opening band called "The Human Abstract" (LOL!!!) They weren't that impressive...except for the guy with really long dreadlocks. When he headbanged, it looked so awesome in the light. So then Dir En Grey showed up, and hell broke loose. People were moshing, screaming, headbanging, jumping, and just plain out having fun. The night was endless...and there couldn't be a better day to celebrate it after my birthday.

Fabulous, Exciting, Wonderful, Freakin Happy Birthday...TO ME!

It was the sunniest day so far in the month.To me it was. I've turned 20. I kept recounting the candles on my cheesecake (i didn't want a regular cake) and i kept miscounting. 20 candles are a lot of years. "L" made me a birthday cake as well. (it was yummy! chocolate with white frosting! Thank you!((Love the sprinkles))) I got money mostly as presents, and started buying my own. I got a pair of earrings, a blouse, a chaleco*? a super cute Ugly Doll from the Comic Book Store, and a hackey sack. I've always wanted one of those. Its so cool <3. It pretty much was a happy day for me. Every night on the 17th, i stay up late until my birth time:2:31 AM. While time passes by, i reflect on the things i've accomplished during my previous year. The good, the sad, the right and wrong. My life. On the exact time however, i make a wish. I know its usually customary that i do it when the candles blow out, but i think in my own little head that the wish would create a bigger impact if i do it exactly when my mommy pushed lol. Hector calls it "Happy one day closer to death". Hector must see the glass half empty constantly. So what if were gonna die? we still have a life where opportunities are given to us, and we are free to do as we please. What we do in our lives is what matters the most. Sure we may take wrong paths and make bad choices, but there's always a magical fairy that would guide us...a cute fairy...Tinkerbell =D. Or a ghost...a funny-looking ghost..a Mario ghost o_o. Our own intuition would set us back on the right track. We can't mourn and cry about it all day like a Hector. I wonder what my 20th year will bring in...

Turkey Plans

Tamales de rajas and chile rojo. Tamales dulce with raisins or without. My aunt made pozole and the tasty delights called tamales. The caldo and the hot tamales were extremely spicy. I guess you can say that we're starting our "pre-Thanksgiving" feast lol. Its exciting now that its been snowing today in the evening. Gentle, fat flakes falling to the ground. I've slacked off on blogging, but there were other obvious matters to attend to (essays). But today, everyone was discussing where the turkey's location should be. Almost everyone..my mom didn't get to go. More like didn't want to. The others have agreed however, to make the feast in two places. Its going to be pretty difficult to go to both, but these were just ideas the parents were concocting. Things are just being planned. Nothing new has really happened, but i guess the snow says otherwise. We won't have much of a winter wonderland if global warming continues. Its funny how my professor would talk about it with a really frightened face. He showed us a map of what our past and present temperatures look like. Its a HUGE difference. A friend of mine said that her other professor blamed it on overpopulation. Who knows? Maybe Obama will come up with something along with the other organizations that are helping to prevent our weather patterns from getting worse.

Victory

I have been sent to a battle that i thought i wouldn't succeed in, i fought a fight that took all my strength to live, and i conquered...survived. My dad and I were locking horns in the most intense eye and word combat up to date. We respected our boundaries by setting limits as to how far the other would go. And in the end, i won. He limped off to live for another day...with the same shameful feeling i get after losing to him. But this time i didn't argue for myself. I argued for all my siblings. I defended my sister from a belief that still contradicts my way of thinking. My father has a way of teaching us about life through brute strength and rude critical remarks. I proved him his ways were wrong. It felt like a science experiment, but his own weapon backfired on him. I turned the tables around. He called my sister for evidence to support his thinking, but my mom volunteered into the project as well. He asked her a simple math problem for her to solve in her head (this is the debate. the purpose) I defended my point that she gets nervous because of his manner of expression. He concurs that my sister's just being a kid...that she cries and gets nervous for anything. During the "procedure" my sister came up with shaking, watery eyes, and no answer to his question. My mom's turn came up and asked her a similar problem but with different numbers. Instantly, my sister responded the correct answer with a calm presence. His own form of evidence proved faulty.I pointed this out to my father, and he instantly retreated by talking about a different subject, trying to aim the problem at me. The dispute was finished. I finally learned the reason behind his logic. "She's just a kid. Kids cry all the time". Did he ever consider her feelings? OUR feelings? Its true that he hasn't hit her in any way, but what about US? My brother and I weren't fortunate enough to escape that fate. We are the way we are because of what he's done. Sometimes we seem indifferent, arrogant, and criticize the world because that's all we know since childhood. But the fact that we stepped out of our world to view more things that are out there, made us see that things aren't always that way. Well...at least i think so. My brother has been partially brainwashed into thinking my dad's ways are right. I don't blame him. I think some of my father's morals seem true, but i still think its the wrong way to get to them. I feel like i've been placed into a war or a chessboard were i think the best way to create peace is to call it a stalemate. But this is only one argument that would follow into another, and another and another...for now i shall breathe deep, stretch, and bask in my glory.

Madagascar 2

I went to see the Madagascar Movie 2! It was pretty funny..sad to hear that Bernie Mac passed away. My mom couldn't stop laughing when Moto-Moto was presented (she thinks that he looks like my dad) and she almost choked on her popcorn. I remember coughing and wheezing after that. But before any of that i went to get new glasses. The doctor was really pissed to hear that i've had these glasses for 2 years and haven't changed them. I lied. They're actually 4 years old. But even so, he kept giving me this forced smile. He still looked mad with his attitude. He was disappointed with me that i haven't told my parents. (In reality, my parents are too cheap to go through with it..didn't want to tell him that). It was freezing cold after the movie, so i bought myself a coat. Not the best i've wanted, but i like its fluffy warm interior. (no fur). This is a quick blog i'm typing up due to essay stress, but this was typically my whole day.

Checks and Balances

A quick rant: As if all my problems weren't finished, i have to type up 2 essays in 1 week. My philosophy essay has to be extremely perfect. No excuses. (I'm pissed). The second essay is merely a rough draft for Criminal Justice...along with some extra credit and a bibliography. I'm so lucky that i haven't had a lot of homework in English. Social Science is another matter...i have a quiz on Wednesday and i haven't even read the 7th or 8th chapter of the book. I'll be too busy doing research for my criminal justice. Thank God the old man decided to give us our references to use for the essay. Except we can't check out the articles (not allowed) and we pretty much have to fight along with maybe 300 other students. We can't choose our own references, we have to follow his...(w..t..F!). I've done pretty well on Soc Science quizzes so i guess i'll have to skim...or at least read the chapter summary. Must memorize a couple of words too. Along with words for philosophy because the douche is making us work in groups for our final quiz. Not the final exam, the quiz. (I pray he doesn't stick me with people i know are failing). Other than that, everything is pretty damn swell! =D I watched an Arab dance, it was pretty cool. Couldn't take pics cause people were in the way. But i did get to win a free mug in a raffle...whoopee! e_e I found Hector in the entrance of the school...got to talk to the guy. Still the same..he seems nicer in a way. His friend was WAY too friendly. And i quote:"Are you Hector's girlfriend?" (This was the first statement that came out of this man's mouth) Before any of this though, i was chasing my friend the lifeguard =) (he's the dumb one in my science class) and was trying to get ahold of him. Then some creeper came up to me and hugged me hello. His name is Raul..i've seen the guy walking around the school and i had a class with him before.(talk about personal space...he was wayyy too close when we were talking). That was my full day today...how about you guys? *sadly chains self to the computer* Interesting day, isn't it?

An UnBEARable Price

I have permanent DSL! (I think). All i know is that time is passing by really, really fast. Almost in the middle of November, and today's faint snowflakes are a sure sign of winter's arrival. I've decided to name my doll Linette..it sounds right to me. I haven't really started on her since SOMEONE still has her. (You know who you are!). I'll get to her as soon as possible. I've come across another cute thing that i would love to make. I found this at the Alley near Belmont, but sadly i couldn't take any pics there. Its not allowed. The place is a hardcore retail store filled with things for Goth, punk, emo, and skateboarder. I know i'm missing a few categories, so don't judge me lol. I'll do my best to describe it. For starters, its some sort of beanie, black and fuzzy material. The hat has bear ears and cute red eyes to show for it. The hat has flaps that fall down a person's own ears and are up to the waistline. Those are supposed to be the bear's paws. They had some sort of pockets, so i'm not really sure what they're for. Point is, its adorable. I think the trademark was Evil Teddy...or something similar to it. The cuddly thing's price was very expensive...and i was heartbroken =(. No worries! I've decided to try and make my own..maybe not that similar, but something close to it. I need fleece...lots and lots of fleece...

Stupid DSL

I haven't had internet for *counts with fingers..* more than five days. The DSL box has a habit of receiving internet whenever it feels like it, and i've been missing out on blogging. Over the past few days, its been nothing but hell! Not really...more like depression and anxiety towards losing connection with the world. I've been passing my philosophy class because i've been memorizing all the dumb definitions. Unfortunately, i ended up lowering my grade in Criminal Justice which won't be so difficult to raise up again. My dad is unfortunately going to spend more time with us since the economy is so bad..he leaves later and gets home earlier. Hoorah! >=(. I thought things were supposed to get easier and happier. Wednesday i went with some peeps to an interview with Urban Outfitters. Funny. The next day was "L"'s birthday and paid my respects with cake and flan. Today feels like a horrorfest. My dad won't stop nagging as to why i'm not good enough. The only thing worth looking forward to is my birthday and the Dir en Grey concert that i was invited to (courtesy of "L"). That and the weather's getting colder...wonderful snow will soon fall and blanket over the land. Can't wait =)

Sick Illusions

As many of you have noticed, yes. I have been blogging. I'm not going to stop...i don't think i can. No matter how Poop obsessed i've become, its not going to prevent me at all from my daily life (I hope). Its become a ritual...a hobby..or some sort of stress reliever. My music has changed with new songs posted along with a few older ones. It all depends on my mood, so they'll keep changing along with the months. One of my dad's friends came in today to fix up our plumbing. He was very attractive...i couldn't stop drooling in front of him. My mom noticed (she NEVER misses anything, does she?) and sent me to do something stupid to get out of his shining presence. I felt like a hobo since i barely woke up when he was saying hi to the family. Very embarrassing shaking hands and saying hello with a rotten morning breath cloud forming. I forgot his name...but he was really tall, Caucasian, and a cop. When my dad mentioned earlier in the week that one of his friends was coming in, i was thinking short, old, and paisa looking. Turns out he was young, hot, and law enforced =). It seems he really liked my dad alot. They kept joking around in ways that i wouldn't really expect my dad to do. I guess he was impressed with my dad's intelligence or way. Was i boy crazy? maybe...or the sickness is getting to me.

Halloween 08

I felt like Cinderella when the clock struck midnight on Halloween. It was fun. "L" seemed to like Halloween..or maybe it was all the attention she was getting from the dress. I've said it before, and i'll say it again...i have never seen so many heads turn our way in my whole life. They absolutely liked "L"s dress. People were confusing us with a performing act in downtown. People stopped us to take pictures, and we've had a group of Asian paparazzis taking them "without us noticing". (we DID notice guys!) We took pics (they're posted under "L"'s myspace, so good luck peeps) and frolicked around downtown. We watched a fire-dancing performance. They seemed really cool, and their show was awesome..i personally fell in love with a guy hiding behind an orange masquerade mask. He was really hot! lol. After the show, we were on our way to the other show. I was amazed. How can that be?! people that i thought that would actually express themselves on an unlimitedless night of fright be dressed in their casual clothes!? A complete group of emos that didn't celebrate the most glorious night of the year! About 5 people actually got into the spirit of the dead, but the rest were too dumb to get into it. We found a few people that we knew, and stayed there for awhile to take a few more pics. We easily got bored (too many emos in "L"s case) and started back to her house. She wouldn't stop laughing ( and i bet she still is) at this group of people who invited us to their party. The fact that they were desperate enough to get strangers into it was really embarrassing i guess...they even suggested that they had "free food" (wtf?). I felt sorry for them, but "L" just kept laughing the night off lol. Pretty much it was a night to remember =3

Makeup Madness!

Not really...more like Poupee obsession. This website is really adorable, and its soo addicting, it feels like i'm at Gaia again...only ten times better. As you all have noticed, my Choki's doll is posted on my blog, isn't she cute? Halloween is almost here!!!!!! its exciting!!!. All the sweat and tears that "L"'s done is finally going to pay off! I've bought some shoes and makeup that will help on that day. I posted some of them on Poupee in order to get ribbons*(that's the currency in the website). After ditching Pedro at downtown, i went with Magali to hang out. First we stopped by Dulcelandia since there's always a sale before Halloween. We looked around and found things set up for parties and of course the greatest celebration in 2 days. Next we went to the thrift store and got some goods. She scored a flashy silver shirt and 2 black ones. We stopped by to talk at the Cathedral, just catching up with one another. Her costume is almost done (almost) and she was still missing some makeup. Luckily our friend Maggot was there to throw ideas for them. We were even MORE fortunate when my mom called saying she was stopping by to the store. We went to K-Mart and found A LOT of last minute shoppers trying to get stuff. The little kids were drooling over the candy, while teenagers and parents alike were fighting one another for their costumes. Other than that...its fun getting ready for the darkest night of the year.

Autumn

Sunday...was very windy. As usual i went to church and to eat with the family. But since i had some homework to catch up on, and my brother's laziness was involved, then only my parents went off to buy food for the house. It was pretty cold and my sister wanted to rake leaves. I don't know why i agreed to it, but we ended up raking up what we could. We fixed up her Halloween decorations (they were all over the place because of the wind) and piled up every leaf into a huge one. My sister had fun =). The wind was blowing way too hard, so we ran back inside to warm up. My siblings and i had the house to ourselves, so we pretty much did everything we wanted to do. I started working on the bag, and made the second ruffle today. Using a sewing machine is really hard...and very complicated. How do the designers do it??? Its time consuming and hard labor put into such a simple piece! I'm very surprised at "L" for keeping up such a hard task. Maybe next time i'll be able to create something big for once. For now, i'll have to work on my doll and bag as practice for the future.

My Heroes =)

There was a thunderstorm earlier...and i didn't make it through the rain, so i came home soaking wet. I visited Magali and we both started on my doll pattern. It came out pretty nicely done, although it wasn't finished. (We didn't have any stuffing). When i got home, i somehow managed to unscrew one side of my glasses. My mom and dad were at the table discussing some home projects while i was looking for a small screwdriver. I guess i made too much noise. They both asked me what i was doing and i told them about my glasses. My dad asked to see them, while my mom and i kept looking for the tool. I managed to find it hiding between some papers and gave it to my dad. Sadly, he lost the tiny screw that was already placed on the metal corner, but all of a sudden i saw my mom and dad looking for it on the floor. Both of them on hands and knees looking for an impossible tiny screw that was too small to see for old, tired eyes. I was no help of course, but i tried. But as they were searching, It made me realize noticed how much they truly love me. Its not that i didn't know they do, its just hard to see those moments in my house. They didn't argue or fight with one another, they didn't criticize each other or even blame themselves. They were so busy focused working together on fixing something so dumb as my glasses to even notice their differences like they usually do. The funny part was that they were fixing them on the floor, under the table with a flashlight at hand. My sister was wondering why they didn't just use the table under the kitchen light, but they both ignored her. But i was happy to see them like this. When my dad finished fixing them, he gave them back to me. I was very pleased for both of them so i each gave them a kiss and a thank you. Secretly in my mind also that no matter how much they've gone through and the years have passed by, they still manage to have a somewhat sustainable relationship. I'm very proud of both of them.

Bouquet of Scents

I had fun today =). After class, i went off to meet up with Pedro and Magali to go to the Water Tower. We were supposed to check out a store about a job, but we ended up just wishing and gawking at things through the windows of great designer stores. We went through the Macy's department store and had an encounter with a salesman who saw Magali run towards a pair of Ed Hardy shoes. (Sorry if its not the right designer Magali) He saw her eagerness and the way he described her was priceless. It was very funny =). After that episode, our next stop was at the Betsey Johnson store i mentioned a few entries ago. (Magali's first time) and I'm pretty sure she liked it. We eventually got to Sephora to look around for awhile. We were all taking in the colognes and eventually another salesmen showed him. He was very courteous and polite =)...and even told us his name (Robert). He was helping Pedro pick out a new fragrance, in which his first choices were no match with the expert's picks. He showed him the first one and it was soooo beautiful...It smelled very fresh yet wonderful. I can't describe it..but it was awfully attractive. After that we ended up looking at more perfumes and colognes til our noses couldn't smell anything anymore. We were so intoxicated with millions of scents, i imagine us snorting the stuff. We walked out dazed with so many fumes in our heads, and walked towards other stores nearby. Walking down Michigan Avenue, we took the bus towards State Street in hopes of finding another store that turned out to be similar to Sephora, only different name. ( I can't remember D=) Magali got a tiny makeover with a lady who showed and helped her how to apply foundation for greater looking skin. I would've taken a pic of it, but i completely forgot. I was too busy thinking of the man behind me who was trying to get me to buy some perfume they were presenting. He was really impressive...very tall, dark and handsome haha. He looked older..and it surprised me a little that he spoke spanish. He was very touchy too, but the man knew how to treat a girl with exquisite charm and stunning smile. These aren't my best pics, but i guess it was due to all the aromas that mixed my brain up.

The Squash-o-Lantern

My sister and mom were both raking leaves, while my dad and my brother were cleaning out some things in the garage. I was drawing a few more sketches of my doll at the time. ( I still haven't figured out a name) I was almost done, until my sister barged in with a squash. She told me she wanted to turn it into a jack-o-lantern, and i agreed. I mostly did the carving and lighting, but tada! a squash-o-lantern! I thought it looked pretty cool, and its still burning brightly outside our window as i blog. I thought it would be better if it stayed outside since after a few days it'll begin to rot. Eventually I'll get a real pumpkin to carve...hopefully. There's not much money left in my account, and I'm really getting afraid. I can't wait for November to come so that i could possibly get a better chance at a job. That and the Dir En Grey's concert is getting closer. My birthday's next month as well =). I've received a few early gifts already and I can't wait to see more. I also can't wait for the end of this month...A LOT of things are coming my way and i'm getting too anxious. My patience isn't getting me anywhere, so i'm trying to occupy myself with everything around me. The Doll project is coming shortly, just need to print out my pattern..(I keep forgetting =P)

Dumb Luck?

Laundry day was yesterday for me. But no, it wasn't for everyone. My mom dragged me along with my sister to the laundromat by my old job. It was late and i was hoping it was closed, but sadly i was wrong. We walked in with 8 garbage bags full of clothes. None of them were mine..oh well. There were mothers chatting away with younger daughters. Children running around screaming or silently sleeping in their baby carts. My sister and i were automatically bored. We helped my mom unload the stuff and started walking around the building. There were vending machines, soda machines. gumball machines, you name it. But what really caught our eye was a toy machine. It was a crane with a glowing claw. It was hovering over a pile of small stuffed animals for Halloween. Ghosts, pumpkins, cats...and there it was. A candy corn with tiny feet and hands! It looked hilarious, and i wanted it. As soon as i inserted the dollar i aimed for it and yay! i had it! Slowly it hovered as the claw got its grasp tightly, but oh no! the claw couldn't hold on and it dropped the sweet thing back! Why?! Oh the irony! Devastated, i let my sister take the last turn. I walked away going back to my mother, only to hear running footsteps behind me in a few seconds. I turn around and see my sister holding the candy corn i tried to get. Her smug face spelled it out for me before i could actually realize what she was bragging about. It took me some time to know that she had attempted to get what i wanted, and got it. The shame! Now i HAD to redeem myself otherwise i'd end up as a "loser" (She kept chanting a song about it,...not cool) I went back to the machine and slipped in my last dollar. I moved the claw, trying to decide on an easy pumpkin target, but it turned it out that a bear was in the way. I wanted the pumpkin, but in order to do that i had to get rid of the bear. Slowly, i tried to avoid it only to see the claw grasping it by the butt and sending it to the prize hole. (Damn it). My second shot was useless...pointless. The bear had made it soo out of reach it was impossible. So i gave the turn to one of the children around me, even though they tried to steal my bear.(They had their hands in the hole already, but when it landed there i slapped their hands away. I didn't care). It was mine fair and square) We each had a prize to be happy about. Unfortunately that wasnt enough for us. My sister wanted some candy so we went to the vending machine. I didn't have any bills left, but i did have alot of change. We both scrapped up enough to get a candy bar, what luck! We put the money in and decided between a popcorn bag and M&M's. Once i saw cheese popcorn, i dropped the idea and tried to get the chocolate. The machine was slowly turning the ring so it could drop the snack, but then the worst thing ever happened. The candy gets stuck! Unbelievable! My sister runs off to ask my mom for some money but i stay behind watching. I know there's a rule that one shouldn't hit it, but i did it anyway. I wanted my candy, and so did my sister. The ring started turning and dropped it! But the ring didn't stop turning....we were both fortunate enough to pay for one, and end up with two. Two bags full of M&M's. Was it fate that we won so much? Or was it our own doing? We're we lucky? or plain geniuses? Who knows, but we made the most out of it. Can't wait for the next time we wash =D, by the way, there's my sketch of my doll! She's adorable...i'm still thinking of her name, but it'll come to me.

Great Minds at Work.

Minds are easily molded through whatever system or idea that gets to the person's belief or thoughts. People naturally think constantly, and even during a person's relaxing weekend, a break from a job, or even simply the weekend's arrival there is no stop to our brain functioning. Lately "L" and I have been becoming philosophers with everything that we share. Its amazing how far our conversations would go, and how long they last. Time literally flies by when we're talking to one another. We usually start with small talk and it gradually increases into intense conversations and arguments. Our opinions sometimes clash on a subject, and our form of thinking sees new ideas once L or myself share the idea. Its a chain of objections and agreements that we end up forming from one another. Philosophers have a habit of thinking outside our box. A certain example is that once a person decides to leave the dark cave of society, they see a light. The light stand for ideas that mean to bring a new perspective into our life. Once we walk outside our cave and accept the sunlight hitting our face and shining upon new ideals, we try to go inside to share with the world. Unfortunately, things aren't accepted by the people in the cave. Everything seems too unusual and far-fetched to be understood and become a part of everyday life. The philosopher wouldn't be able to adapt and see things the way they used to. They would become a "weirdo" and stand amongst the crowd as the black sheep. L and I merely just tap the peak of a mountain full of ethics and logic. That, or we're just like chattering old ladies that cackle on in life's misery. My personal opinion though is that I believe that we'll stand next the greats like Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle...or at least try to act like a marble statue for fun =).

Chain Letter

I can't believe it. Seriously. Out of this whole huge vast city, it had to be today at the same street, at the same time. Well,...it all started when i went to class to take a midterm exam (they're still not over) and i was studying in the class just like the rest. Everyone walked in and took out their notes, exchanged information, or otherwise kept to themselves while daydreaming out the window. I ended up quizzing some bimbos that i just really CAN'T believe how slow they can get. Its a boy and girl that i think should really get together. One doesn't know anything while the other is just a copy machine and just doesn't understand what she just wrote. Its aggravating that she copies every single note but just doesn't comprehend any of it all. ( i saw her midterm essay and it was basically plagiarized word for word. She got lucky enough to remember to put the sources she got it off from.The girl has no brain except to just mindless memorize) If i were the professor, i'd just fail her. No joke. I wouldn't be able to stand reading something you just took off the book. (What the heck HAS she learned?). Before the exam has started, i received a chain letter text from my cousin. It was the one where "if you pass it on to 10 people, you'll get luck for the rest of the day!" thing. I thanked my cousin in my mind, and did it. Its just a stupid chain letter...right? I needed all the luck and help i could get for the test. Even Magali rubbed my brain =P. After the exam, i talked to Jason for awhile and left off to find Pedro since i left my class a few minutes early. Recently i've been talking to a sort of new friend from Myspace and he was happy enough to give me a pic of himself. I showed it to Pedro and got his approval by giving me 1 thumb up. It was raining, so we both shared an umbrella to walk under. He was very well dressed up for job training; he looked pretty sharp. As we kept walking towards his future job, people were scrambling everywhere to get out of the rain. My attention automatically went towards a person wearing a black hoodie with dark clothes. For a complete split second i saw him. I wasn't sure if it was really him, and i kept denying it in my head but i couldn't and wouldn't believe it. He completely took off his hood and stared as i looked at him with shock and confusion. His gaze was appalling. It felt like time has frozen..everything moved slowly,but in reality the world kept turning, people kept going and the rain kept pouring. Even Pedro turned towards his direction, all of us having a face-off. As we passed him by, we both looked at each other. I was really confused, yet soo certain. But Pedro was annoyed and curious as to why he glared at us. My friend from Myspace, Junior, had just walked passed me. I still can't believe it. I sort of felt bad that i didn't say anything, but at the same time i felt very awkward seeing him in person. I text the boy, and got a response that he took a sick day today. He says that he wasn't at downtown in the rain, but Pedro agrees that what we both saw was undeniable.

My Gothic Lolita

I've started sketching out my doll creation. It looks fantastic...i'm in love with it so much. It took me a lot of time and work to find the research for the perfect outfit that my doll would wear, but i finally made one. I'll eventually post a pic of her as soon as i get my scanner started again. For starters, i've decided to make it based on the popular trend in Japan, Gothic Lolita. I heard the sad story from an artist about what it really stands for. It turns out that Lolita was written by an old pedophile from Russia that would fantasize about victorian little girls. In the song she questions was it her fault that she was raped?..was it her lacy dress? her cute candy coated face? All she knows is that she is dead and nothing could be done about it. It was really morose and beautiful. Even though there's a dreadful past to the fashion, its still very attractive to the public and myself. What has inspired me to actually consider to make one? I guess its the work i've been helping out with for the Halloween costume..the book that L has given me to choose a hairstyle for based on the style..and the dolls that Ms. Amane has in her room from Death Note. I'm slightly afraid of it lol, but that's not going to stop me from going through with it =). Of course, Magali's going to start on one as well and i'm still wondering what hers will be about. I know she's given me hints...i'll have to pressure more haha =). (DISCLAIMER: That's NOT my sketch)

Philosophical Controversies

These essays have made me go crazy, but i managed to get three of them done. I don't understand what my philosophy professor would actually want or consider as being passable to him. First of all the old man is NOT a major in the subject, so he' s winging it. He's doing what Lois Griffin did when she was teaching piano to children. Always reading 2 chapters ahead before the students. I know i have told everyone about this, but his habit is "my way, or the highway". I know its supposed to be like that since he's the teacher, but his demands are too...perfectionist? He won't accept any definition to define a word unless its his own or the book's. He compared mine to "street talk". I only simplify the term, but i still use good verb tenses to describe it and it just gets crossed out with a red pen saying NO. Partial credit is given if i remember some of the definition's dictionary version. Maybe i should brainlessly memorize them so i could just write them out. No thoughts or ideas, just pure memorization. Its the only way i'll pass. A girl next to me could have gotten an "A" on her midterm, but all her points were taken off because of her poor spelling. She ended up with the same grade i got. I'll see what happens...i'm just going to study harder than i already was. I know i'm stubborn and i probably won't accept some things because they seem too crazy for me to handle. But i see this as a competition between power levels...i remember my struggle with Ms. Robinson's rules as well. She made us buy a book, re-write the sentences in them and highlight the words. It was freakin' pointless. WHY would you do such a thing? We bought the books so that we could WRITE in them. Her excuse was that it would prevent people from copying one another, and she didn't want to carry a whole library's worth of books to her car. I understood that, but why didn't she instead gave us the words to write sentences with and we could have all saved the trouble and our own pocket money from doing such a stupid thing? The old woman spent the whole class period babbling on and on about her life anyway...i didn't learn much. Insane people becoming teachers...by the way the old woman got fired after i graduated. How fortunate of the new seniors. Things will change in time.

University Lifestyle of a Student

I'm sooo tired...i just want to curl up in bed and go into a deep sleep. Today i had no plans...but someone decided what i should do today for me. Pedro found me while i was waiting for the elevators (more like he texted me4 times before i got a chance to respond) and i was debating what i should do. He told me he didn't want to go home yet, so i asked him what HE wanted to do. We both ended up at UIC to make a payment for the opera Wicked. I've walked by the place a couple of times...but i've never really had the chance to explore within it. It felt like i was walking at a local fancy park...yet full of museum-looking buildings. We went inside one and according to him, we were looking for the "Rainbow Room". I thought it was some sort of artsy place...or just a hangout that had an inside joke. It turns out that its a gender and sex organization. Their office was actually quite comfy...yet still professional looking. Scattered papers and a wooden round table with colorful chairs are there...one was occupied by Pedro's friend Tifanny. She's a really sweet and funny girl that always played around and had fun times with Pedro. Both of them showed me around the campus, pointing out to things i've never seen before and talking to strange weird friends. It felt really unusual seeing alot of students walking around to random places. I know i should've gotten used to it since my school is at a city, but it just seemed so awkward seeing alot of people at one place with a park theme going on. We eventually got something to eat and went straight to her dormitory. I felt like i was at a hotel, with hallways of doors. Doors that lead to bathrooms and storage closets, deadends, staircases, and doors that lead to more rooms, and within those more rooms. When we got to her room, it was really awesome...she shared it with a roommate of course, but she wasn't there. Their window is really huge, the size of a wall that looks out to the city. They each had their own bed, desk, and closet which was pretty sweet. It was kind of hilarious finding their food on the top shelf. Her room was also shared with 3 other rooms which makes 8 people sharing one mirror and bathroom. I would've loved to personally take a picture of her dorm but it would've been too rude. Every single person's area was really messy which really fascinated me =). Just finding random stuff said alot about their personality and their majors. I think i'm really going to like attending a University...overall its a completely new and different environment. They all had something in common though...they all were living a freakin good life! Also all the rooms shared a tiny living room that they could all relax in as shown below.

Multiple Midterm Memoirs...

(LOL @ title) I'm loaded with midterm exams and have to complete 6 different essays between these two weeks. SIX people! I can only count down the days left until the deadlines are met. Its extremely crucial that i stay on top of my game if i want to pass all of my classes. First of all, KUDOS to Magali for helping me (more like doing it for me) get rid of some holes from my pants! I really appreciate it and i'm looking forward to working together to make our dolls =). I also found out about my blue eyes true name. His REAL name is Jason...although i still need to figure out his last. He came really late today but when he walked in he looked more kept to himself than usual. I got a quick glance of his face and i noticed he had gotten glasses. How come i didn't notice this before? Or maybe he was wearing contacts instead of them...i hope his eyes are really his natural color. He was always bold and spoke out in class, but today he just stayed silent and occasionally looked up when he had to write something from the board. Sometimes i wonder if he knows what i'm thinking...he sometimes freaks me out with his statements. Its as if we both were thinking the same thing, at the same time...

Dark, Elegant, and Beautiful

Its getting so cold! All i have done is stay home and wash..clean...and cook a little since my grandmother helped. I've been looking for new ideas and designs that would help me and L get our stuff together for the 31st. We are really close to being done, but we need more...more originality, rarity, and a lot of inspirational things to help us. I won't post any details yet as to how the design looks, but the basic colors and fabric we have used are: silver, navy blue, white, and lots and lots of lace! strings of pearl beads, and a rosary. L's costume is pretty much done, but she's been obsessing over the right buttons to use on her suit. That hardworking "L"ady also needs a top hat...and i pray she doesn't use a pimp cane. (I'll make sure to break it ha ha) We need and have a few accessories, but we're looking for rarer ones, not common things we find everywhere. Mostly homemade, we're looking in every direction, researching everything, and following guidelines on how getting stuff done from scratch. Makeup and hairstyles are included since both of us clash on our different tastes. We're not too different, but we're able to compromise. Our ending result might end up something like this photo (NOTE: this is NOT it). New, Confident, Edgy, and above all a Classic look.

Blue Eyes

My feet hurt...but it was really damn well worth it. I think. Cool and breezy weather has surrounded our city, the sign of autumn. I only have on class on Wednesdays, but it recently has become my favorite. Of course, i have been meeting new people and talked to some of the old ones from the past. I've also been crushing on A LOT of people lately...is that wrong? Maybe. But its nice to daydream now and then. This one i call Blue Eyes, since that's what attracted me the most. I know its a shallow and superficial trait to pay attention to, but at least its a common "nice" one compared to paying attention to other physical traits. I don't know his name...yet. But i do know that he's 24 and planning to go to the University In Chicago next semester. After that eventful scenario, i went with L to see a Halloween store located in downtown. It wasn't pretty good, but it did have a few useful things. I found this interesting face mask that might be a part of my costume though...it might not match the blue coat completely, but i still like the design.

Refreshing Misfortune

It was raining all day. Today was a regular school day...nothing really special about dreary Mondays. But i think i've mistaken on the choices i've picked. I finally got a chance to talk to another boy from a different class and got to know him alot better. He seems really cool...and very fine. The only reason i didn't get interested in him that much was because he didn't seem very bright. Social Science just wasn't his thing i guess. While we were talking another boy showed up. He had really gorgeous, piercing blue eyes...really lovely. They both started talking on and on so much about themselves, that i didn't know what to say or do. It was really awkward afterwards since they were waiting for me to respond. It always happens to me even when i'm with friends (Magali and Jaime). After that class and another exam on the next class, i tried getting home really early and instead got there really late. The CTA made a huge crowd of people keep switching sides just to try to get home. Some of the lines weren't even working because of the weather. It was really frustrating and annoying, but at least i got a start on something new =)

Sacred Sundays

My family and I always go out together on Sundays. Some people say its a rare thing to find teenagers still hanging out with their parents. I guess its true...most of them just hang out with their own friends or are too busy becoming young parents. We have six full days to do anything we want, whenever we want to. But Sunday to us is a day that we get to spend together as a family, to actually communicate and just get along with one another. We usually just go to Mass...and when we don't, we go out to eat together at a restaurant. The hard part is choosing where, and i think that's where we should be grateful because we have unlimited options. We grocery shop, go to the movies, go to flea-markets, shop around some more, walk around museums, play at the park, just any stuff that comes to mind. Sunday is also the only time my dad gets to spend time with us too, so they're really important. Today me and my siblings went to see the movie, The House Bunny (its the only one they both agreed on) and it was okay...my brother thinks the main character is hilarious. I was thinking...one day, my brother and i won't be there for my parents to spend the day with, will it be the same for them? The day wasn't really that eventful...although i should consider making a cheat sheet for my test tomorrow...still have time!

Unforgotten

I must be really popular. I haven't stepped foot out of my house, and new faces i haven't seen for ages show up. I talked to 2 friends i haven't heard from in a very, very long time. One of them is a person i haven't really seen in over 3-4 years...and i still don't really know much about her. All i know is that she is extremely sweet and nice, but VERY sophisticated. She's my first ex's little sister, Gabriella. I remember she talked to me when her brother and I had just broken up. She tried to help both of us with our relationship in an attempt to keep us together. It wasn't very successful, but its nice to know that she still remembered me after these past years. The second person that contacted me was a really close friend. The infamous, ever popular Jaime. We talked about life and the constant changes that life throws at us, the many friends we lost contact with, how college was going for both of us, and future gatherings we should attend to catch up...just like old friends should. I wonder if it would ever really happen...possibly. I'm very flattered that they both talked to me, and i'm very happy knowing that the haven't forgotten about me. I guess i really did leave a mark behind, just like they have left theirs in my heart.

A Twisted Love Note

Its so boring...there's nothing to look forward except studying and books. Maybe i should go for that one guy i'm interested in...or maybe its a mistake. Its hard to make decisions when both ends are life-changing opportunities. I sort of want to take a chance, but i'm afraid. Its nothing that i should be afraid of...maybe its because i haven't done it in awhile? My low self-esteem drives me crazy. I contradict myself all the time while plotting ways to get the things i want. Its good, its bad, its happiness, its destruction, its an opportunity, its a dead end. What if he's not interested in me? And if he isn't, why should i bother? Maybe he really is shy like my friend has said. Maybe i'm not really trying hard enough as i thought i was. Then again, i have pretty much dropped hints to show some sort of friendship. I take my time because he had no intention to do anything....i'm giving him space to put the puzzle together, but he sees it. Or maybe its all in my head. My instincts tell me he has an idea...but what is he waiting for? Am i rushing things too early? I haven't done anything strong to scare him away...at least i think so. He still talks to me, but he still keeps to himself. Its a normal thing to do...right? What if he already has someone in mind? That's probably it...but he does things that really don't have racional explanations. Why else would he smile at every funny thing i throw at him? Why would he always face towards my direction while reading along with the class? Probably leading me on to something else...or i'm in too deep to notice reality? I'll be patient...One day soon enough i'll have to courage to actually ask.

Bookworms

Today i had a tiny field trip with old friends...we literally are getting so old, we passed the time at a bookstore in Wicker Park. In reality, Pedro was looking for a book he needed in class..with no success. Magali found a book that her sister was interested in...but decided to keep her lips sealed about it. I didn't realize we would get there so much faster taking a different route. I have so much to learn..after that we got a bite to eat, and walked around aimlessly around the town.
It was a really warm day even though night was spreading in the sky. I wish fall would come faster...i like the cold weather. Its the sign of all the happy holidays it'll bring later on. School also ends during the holidays =). I should really try harder to find a job...i'm going to need the money. For now, i'll just focus on school...just like these nerds are! =D

Dear B******

We've always had our differences, and always will. I haven't talked to you in about a year, and it really didn't get us anywhere or get anything done at all. I ignore you because i don't trust you, I'm disappointed at you, and you became one of the worst persons i have ever met in my entire life. Its really sad to say all of this knowing that we've had a lot of ups and downs in the past. I've always overlooked your flaws and took you in as the person you were. I'm not saying I'm perfect either, because nobody is. But i never really saw anything go bad as it has happened up to today. You were a person that slightly shimmered with kindness and loyalty. But in the end, you have just shown not only me, but the whole world your true colors. So instead of hiding and ignoring, I'm actually standing up to face you and become something better than what you have done with yourself. The past is the past, and it should always stay that way. We can't have the friendship we used to have...its impossible. But i do know that we can reconcile our differences and end our problems. You act like you don't know what's going on, but deep down you really do...you're trying to avoid it, to run from it, but in reality you've just been going in circles. The best i can say to you is good luck and i hope that you'll finally manage to grow up one day..as i did.