My name...isn't as important to me as much as my life is, or the people in it. Life is full of ups and downs, and i wouldn't want it any other way =). Sometimes its a horrible nightmare full of chaos and despair that it just won't seem to end. Other times it feels like a dream...so sweet, innocent, and fragile..you wouldn't dare stir an inch to let it escape. Everyday is like a new start with endless possibilities...i hope my blog distinguishes life in every possible way.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Young Goodman Brown
Yes, peeps this story was appalling yet...OMG haha. This time, this chapter on a different book made me get goosebumps during my breakfast hour. I kept getting a shiver down my spine after i finished it, and my yummy Cookie Crisp cereal went to waste...sort of. The professor from my Humanities made us read a short story titled: Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne. I kinda pictured it would be some lame political short essay...i have no idea why, but i always assume the worst with the titles lol. A few of you probably have already read it, but here goes: It all starts at the town of Salem, where a man named Goodman Brown is going on an adventure towards the forest at sundown. His young bride, Faith, wears a hat with pink ribbons on it, warning and telling him not to go. To start his journey in the morning when the time will be safe and she would be able to at least hold him one last time. Goodman Brown declines and knows the risks he has to take so off he goes into the dead of night. He encounters a weary traveler wearing a cloak and offers to walk along with him. The stranger's looks can pass as Brown's father since there is an old mirror replica of himself in the man. The old man tells him stories of Brown's family past, telling him that all the noble deeds that he thinks his ancestors made are all nothing but lies and coverup the deception and evil in reality happened. He tells him the townspeople he knows are not all they seem...even the wellrespected priest has his secrets. Afraid and suspicious, Brown asks the man to reveal his name but the man merely laughs and keeps walking with a cane on his hand. They hear an old woman down the path and slowly head towards her. The old man touches her shoulder with his cane and she suddenly shrieked "THE DEVIL!". It turns out she was looking for her broom that has been stolen ( "That old woman taught me my catechism" said the young man; and there was a world of meaning in this simple comment [Young Goodman Brown, Nathaniel Hawthorne])..so the Devil stays to help her, but Brown decides to go back to following the path. The Devil leaves the woman behind and keeps on going with Brown. After a while, Goodman Brown takes a break, and the Devil offers to let him use his cane. Brown falls asleep and dreams that Faith has went into the forest, looking for him.She ends up getting attacked by demons everywhere and he quickly runs toward her with desperation trying to make it to his love. When he gets ahold of her demons surround them and they face oncemore the Devil, who wants to baptize them in a pool of red liquid (blood? fire? who knows) He yells at Faith to not pay attention and to keep looking up at heaven..whether she did it or not he'll never know because he woke up sweaty and exhausted from the nightmare. He runs back to the town and sees the morning sunrise coming up from the horizon. He ends up not trusting anyone...not even his beautiful Faith that even ran up to him to kiss him in public, knowing it was forbidden back in those days. He hated the priest for being full of blasphemy and until his deathbed, noone remorsed or prayed for him...I know my version is crappy compared to the real thing, but believe me. Its insane.
Friday, January 23, 2009
"I wus high"
I'm really bored at the moment...so I've decided to post a special blog today(Literally). As many of you have encountered, there is a certain person we know that has grammar issues. I intend to mock her since there is not much to do online at the moment.
My name is Betty (Kung Pow Movie's Villain Voice). i know that most of u hate me fo treatin u all wrong. I dunno y i did it.i got really high that day. i want 2 talk about everythin and anythin i sorry denise n elvia 4 not listenin to u..u's were right. idk wut i was thinkin mayb i was high. i nkow that wut i did wuz wrong cuz it made ppl mad at me. it also made me sad. i'm sorry. i still dunno y ur mad at me but i hope we can still b friends. I have 2 tell u all sumthin. i wuz makin out wit jaime the whole time. I wuz high. I got a tattoo so i can show jose my feelings but he rejeceetd me. i get da feelin magali dunt wanna hang out wit me cuz shes always busy. I wus high
I give up right now lol. This is seriously making me feel like i'm getting stupider by the minute. As L once called it "teenager (text) talk" is not considered being very educated when a person's in college.
My name is Betty (Kung Pow Movie's Villain Voice). i know that most of u hate me fo treatin u all wrong. I dunno y i did it.i got really high that day. i want 2 talk about everythin and anythin i sorry denise n elvia 4 not listenin to u..u's were right. idk wut i was thinkin mayb i was high. i nkow that wut i did wuz wrong cuz it made ppl mad at me. it also made me sad. i'm sorry. i still dunno y ur mad at me but i hope we can still b friends. I have 2 tell u all sumthin. i wuz makin out wit jaime the whole time. I wuz high. I got a tattoo so i can show jose my feelings but he rejeceetd me. i get da feelin magali dunt wanna hang out wit me cuz shes always busy. I wus high
I give up right now lol. This is seriously making me feel like i'm getting stupider by the minute. As L once called it "teenager (text) talk" is not considered being very educated when a person's in college.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Hunger of Memory
Things are getting slightly better...in school. My English professor is making us read 3 different books about immigration. At first I instantly thought it would be completely boring...and it partially is. Partially. The first book we have to start reading is titled: Hunger of Memory by Richard Rodriguez. There is a quote he has that has intrigued me, and i think obviously is to catch the reader's attention as well. A few of you might probably relate this to your own lives, (I know its something that temporarily reflects my daydreams) but here it is:
"She tells people, her neighbors, that I am a 'Ph. D Professor'. I am doing some writing, she explains. But I will be going back to teach in a year or two. Soon. In private, she admits worry. 'Did somebody hurt you at Berkeley?...why don't you try teaching at some Catholic College?' No, I say. And she turns silently to my father, who stands watching me. The two of them. They know i have money enough to support myself. But I have nothing steady. No profession. And I am the one in the family with so much education. (All those years!) My brothers and sisters are doing so well. 'All i want for you is something you can count on for life,' she says. In honor of my mother and father " (Hunger of Memory. Prologue introduction)
This is a part of the prologue where the author struggles to distinguish his Mexican and American heritage from each other. He feels that the English language that has been enforced upon him and his family was meant for the "social life" outside the house. He valued the Spanish that was spoken between his family because he felt it was a private conversation versus a social one that society wanted. When he heard his father or mother struggle with pronouncing words in english, they seemed so weak and broken to him. Spanish was the only language that would keep that closeness apart from the world. What he realizes later on, is not the language itself but the intimacy behind the words. (remember "L?" you tried to explain how Kyo's words touched you?) The rugged and strained english that he heard his family speak was nothing compared to the soft-spoken and fluent spanish they talked. He found a balance that intimacy was the source that kept people together. Like singing...the words were merely poetry. But the sounds that come from the voice, the feelings of pain and joy were the ones that sent the message out to people. Lyrics are only a part of a great song. The book is slightly boring yet interesting...to some extent. But this is barely the first chapter...i'll see if its good or not.
"She tells people, her neighbors, that I am a 'Ph. D Professor'. I am doing some writing, she explains. But I will be going back to teach in a year or two. Soon. In private, she admits worry. 'Did somebody hurt you at Berkeley?...why don't you try teaching at some Catholic College?' No, I say. And she turns silently to my father, who stands watching me. The two of them. They know i have money enough to support myself. But I have nothing steady. No profession. And I am the one in the family with so much education. (All those years!) My brothers and sisters are doing so well. 'All i want for you is something you can count on for life,' she says. In honor of my mother and father " (Hunger of Memory. Prologue introduction)
This is a part of the prologue where the author struggles to distinguish his Mexican and American heritage from each other. He feels that the English language that has been enforced upon him and his family was meant for the "social life" outside the house. He valued the Spanish that was spoken between his family because he felt it was a private conversation versus a social one that society wanted. When he heard his father or mother struggle with pronouncing words in english, they seemed so weak and broken to him. Spanish was the only language that would keep that closeness apart from the world. What he realizes later on, is not the language itself but the intimacy behind the words. (remember "L?" you tried to explain how Kyo's words touched you?) The rugged and strained english that he heard his family speak was nothing compared to the soft-spoken and fluent spanish they talked. He found a balance that intimacy was the source that kept people together. Like singing...the words were merely poetry. But the sounds that come from the voice, the feelings of pain and joy were the ones that sent the message out to people. Lyrics are only a part of a great song. The book is slightly boring yet interesting...to some extent. But this is barely the first chapter...i'll see if its good or not.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My 1st Day of School (unedited version)
Oh my flippin God! I did not start the new semester on a great foot! lol..It all started when i woke up this morning to take my sister to school. It turned out that the neighbor was taking her today without knowing that i was available, so i got screwed into having less hours of sleep. So instead i took my sweet time cleaning and making breakfast for myself when i realize that i had to go with my Aunt to get some medicine with my grandmother in 10 minutes. I changed as fast as i could and felt slightly relieved when i remembered that i packed my stuff in my bookbag the night before. I snatched my crap and hopped in the car next to my aunt. She figured i barely woke up since my hair was still a mess...so she gave me a chance to fix myself up abit. Then we were off and came back home...at 11:30. (My class starts at 12:30) I couldn't find the courage to ask my aunt for a ride to the trainstop since she was already running late as well. So i ran (more like fastwalked) to the train as quickly as possible. On the train ride however, i checked my schedule to see which floor and classroom I should run to...it turns out i missed my first class and my second one was halfway done. ( I confused the days with the times last night...my GOD). The lucky part was that I already knew the professor for the first class. The second one however was something i should be completely apologizing to. I ran to my previous english teacher's office and got his syllabus. (He seemed flustered...so it goes on the first day of school) and already got an assignment from him. Next i ran to my second class and saw that everyone was testing (Math...ugghh). My teacher looked scary...she reminded me of Mrs. Kramer from high-school. The same dictator attitude as well...except not as corny. She gave me a test, took it, and walked out completely embarrassed and apologizing for interrupting. Its sad to know that she knows me by my first impression lol. I managed to get ahold of Neo...which was sad to say that we didn't have days to spend together. Fridays he works the whole day...but we caught a loophole between classes and breaks...these schedules are making me debate whether i should get a job or not...it'll make thing difficult. I go into the bookstore with him and we both encounter one of his friends..he was really weird. But i didn't like him...he seemed cool but there was a judgmental feeling i got. As if he was curious as to who i was. Neo instantly turned around to say hi to him and i stayed hidden behind him looking at books. I got the feeling he didn't want his friend to see me either..i certainly didn't. In an odd, but sad way i understand that his friends won't accept us...or me being with him. This is my point of view, but i may be wrong. After that scenario, my book money from financial aid was soo low i couldn't believe it. I decided to take care of it when Neo started class. I ran back and forth until i got my stuff right...pretty exhausting..tired...i forgot i was hungry. Throughout this whole process, i encountered many people from school that i used to have classes with and some that are old people from my grammar and highschool years. My, my...school was a bust.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Poker Face
I have a kink on my neck....i slept crooked on a hard-rock pillow. Days are flying by, and still no job. I'm not the only one in this sort of slump. People need to have connections with other people working on the job in order to get in. Besides that fact, its impossible to attain one at all. I'm starting to believe that even high-class resume's aren't helping. Its all about getting lucky with the job you're trying to get. If you roll the dice right, you might just get a royal flush. I guess i just don't want to play any of the games just yet...i kept getting lemons in the slot machines so i gave up lol. This economy is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaddd bad bad bad. Or maybe i'm just jealous and angry of people who are fortunate enough to say "i'm going to work".The world revolves around money, and in order to get what you want you need a job. So why is it that in the land of opportunity, its impossible??? Yesterday, Jose left back to Oklahoma and won't return until April. (Someone said "good riddance >;[" lol) I wonder if it really was...sadly, it made no difference whether he was here or not. It made an impact on him though...the boy wouldn't stop texting people that he was bored all the time. I think if things hadn't turned out bad with the Beatriz incident, things would've been slightly different. Not that much though...everyone has learned to move on and each has adapted into their own little worlds. Its not a bad thing, but the inner circle we've had isn't as "tight" as it used to be. If everyone is eager enough to hang out like we've done the past week or two, then things would be more interesting.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Insomniac Rant
I'm extremely sleepy right now...but before i actually plopped onto my bed, i noticed that my internet came back. How long its been back for, who knows. A lot of stuff has passed this whole week. I haven't gotten a chance to check my last entry. For starters, i didn't even realize my keyboard was missing (my brother took it to fix his computer...its got a nasty virus). Happy Birthday Magali! I'm really sorry we couldn't make it =(. It was a huge obstacle that i had to overcome. Today i went with Neo to take some of his family to some driving license place..its not the Jesse Jackson one though. We went all the way to 130th and who knows where...it turns out his sister lives in a trailer park home. I didn't know this. We picked up his sister and my first impression of her was that she looked familiar for some odd reason...(Magali, this is the sister that Neo said you reminded him of). She was his height..very warm welcoming...but from the face i saw no resemblance to Magali lol. Her wardrobe on the other hand did. As soon as she started talking, it was as if i've known her for a long time. She had makeup on...which disturbed her little brother. Both of them look happy together...i guess its been awhile since they've seen eachother. Her mother in law reminded me of a puertorican cool mom lol. She swore alot and her eyebrows were very thin...(Neo couldn't stop making fun of her because of that). Her son, which was Neo's sister's bf was like a cartoon character...very odd looking too lol. I didn't like him that much...he was too sleazy...so lazy...he made himself sound retarded everytime he spoke a word. Its as if it was hard for him to keep up with a conversation. All i know is that that was the longest, most awkward quiet car ride i've ever been a part of. Nobody spoke for like 2 hours...when Neo's sister's family got out of the car, it was like a breath of fresh air. She's really cool...all 3 of us were having fun. But as soon as they stepped in, back to silence. After driving all the way to almost Indiana, Neo and I had to run back to my house. Once again, i apologize Magali that i didn't get to see you on your special day...i hope you a really happy one =).
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Bowling's Hard...
I'm quite sad that i didn't get to see Neo today...even though we've hung out the past 2 days lol. Yesterday my dad invited his whole side of the family for dinner. Everyone came and everyone once again asked for Neo (in which he was on his way). We also went bowling with my family and my aunt's family. It was odd that my parents wanted to come along, but it was my aunt's idea after all. The place was really packed so it was getting really boring for us to wait for a reserved turn. Nobody's been bowling before except for my aunt, dad, and aunt's husband. It was hard, but it was really fun at the same time lol. The bowling balls are heavy,...both me and Neo were struggling along with my brother and a stepcousin. At least we each all got a strike before the end of the day. It felt really awkward having my family get along with Neo...my mom didn't do much, but my dad kept hovering around us everytime we drifted away from the group. We weren't doing anything serious, but we were really bored and wanted some privacy to talk. My dad popped out of nowhere sometimes. Once we were walking around inside the building looking for a place to sit and it was by the exit's direction. I was the one leading, so i held his hand while we both looked and since we found nothing we turned around. We seriously bumped into my dad behind us asking where we were going and we told him. He had a sneaky suspicious look about him and told us to look at something on the other side of the bowling alley. Seriously, when does this man stop??? Its getting frustrating trying to make him to trust me or Neo.
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